Culturally we follow the Gujarati Hindu ways, and quite a few of their social practices have come down to us over the centuries. However, in today’s times many of these practices seem outdated and irrational.
Widowed Parsi mothers are not permitted to stand on the wedding platform behind a bride and groom (what about widowed fathers?) as widowhood is deemed inauspicious.
The old practice of ada antar (a sheet held between the couple to prevent the bride and groom from viewing each other’s faces) at Parsi weddings is absurd. Before entering into matrimony, the couple must have met several times while courting. What is the sense in continuing with this anachronistic practice?
About 10 years back, I was a legal witness at a wedding from the woman’s side. The ceremony was solemnized by priests from a local agiary. When I was discussing the purpose of ada antar with the younger priest, he threatened to walk out of the ceremony and I had to beat a hasty retreat!
Will the Athornan Mandal consider abolishing both these outdated practices? Will the Mandal come out with a mandate in the Parsi Press and circulate it to all the anjumans and punchayets, globally?
There are other minor practices such as not putting chalk or hanging torans over doorways after a death in the family or even of a distant relative and not visiting a cinema hall or attending a party for three or four months.
Our Patet Pashemani prayers are specific about not grieving over a death.
Isn’t it time for us to abolish such practices? BEHRAM DASTUR
dasturbehram@gmail.com