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In the aftermath of three videos depicting a Parsi mother threatening, verbally abusing, slapping and belting her 13-year-old daughter and nine-year-old son that went viral on social media, the police registered a First Information Report (FIR) against the parents of the children on July 9, 2024. The police have booked them under section 75 of the Juvenile Justice (Care and Protection of Children) Act which deals with cruelty towards children, and other relevant sections of the Indian Penal Code, according to news reports.

"We have issued a notice to the parents. In such cases, if the accused do not cooperate, the police takes further action,” a police official was quoted in The Free Press Journal (FPJ) of July 12.

The community had reacted with outrage, horror and compassion when the videos surfaced end June. Former Bombay High Court Justice Shahrukh Kathawalla had written to the Maharashtra State Commission for Protection of Child Rights, and marked copies to the Chief Justice of the Bombay High Court as well as the police commissioner. The Times of India, the Hindustan Times (HT) and FPJ all referred to his complaint when writing about the incident.

"Based on Bombay police commissioner Vivek Phansalkar’s instructions, the Vanrai police approached the family and recorded their statements,” stated the HT of July 3.

"The video was shot by the father of the kids in 2022 and sent to his friends to show his wife’s violent nature after domestic disputes,” HT cited Rampyare Rajbhar, senior police inspector at the Vanrai police station.

"When questioned, the kids said they were beaten up after fights between their parents which have stopped of late. We will produce the family before the Child Welfare Committee tomorrow,” added Rajbhar.

Community activist Rumy Zarir, on viewing the brutality in the videos, told Parsiana on July 5, "It made my blood boil. We had to help the children.” Along with community activists Pearl Tirandaz, Karl Mistry and Vera Tata, Zarir visited the family at the Bombay Parsi Punchayet’s (BPP) Nirlon Colony in the north Bombay suburb of Goregaon. 

"We wanted to hear both sides of the story... When I first spoke to the mother, she seemed okay… A little disturbed to have received a call from a stranger,” said Zarir. "We told her we wanted to meet and speak to her and help her.” After two calls, she agreed. When Zarir and his colleagues met her, she was "not rude, but not welcoming either.” By the time they wound up four-and-a-half hours later, the woman had agreed to see a counsellor. 

"We only wanted to bring peace to the family… It is very easy for a family to break up…It is important that we bring families together,” Zarir stated. "If we see ourselves as community leaders, or leaders of tomorrow, we should try to get things sorted wherever required,” he summed up. 

Later, on the very day of their visit, the quartet put out a broadcast message: "We noted that the couple is experiencing disputes which have affected the family. The activists, after speaking with the family at length, have convinced the couple to undergo counselling and therapy to which they have agreed… The priority of the activists and the community at large is to protect and safeguard the interest of the children, for which you are requested to kindly refrain from spreading the videos any further as it might hamper and damage the efforts in getting the family back together.”

The medical view

Practicing psychiatrist and consultant at Hinduja National Hospitals at Mahim and Khar and past president of the Bombay Psychiatric Society, Dr Kersi Chavda, when asked to comment on the videos, voiced concern about the wellbeing of the family. "How will the kids behave when they grow older? It horrifies me,” he stated. He further lamented that the father filmed the abuse "instead of protecting his children, unless he felt that this was the only way he could save them.”  

Physical abuse permeates all communities, all economic strata, Chavda said. "There may be slight differences among the educated classes… There may be more awareness of other methods to discipline children… behavioral methods… giving time-out, among others.”   

Chavda wondered why the neighbors in the Parsi baug did not intervene. "In a colony everyone knows everyone… Surely they must have heard the abuse or seen the marks of abuse on the kids… We as a community need to get over this attitude of ‘I do not want to intervene in what does not affect me.’” 

Men are more prone to be abusers than women, the psychiatrist noted. Among the early warning signs of domestic violence that Chavda listed were "losing temper…anxiety…depression…paranoia… substance abuse…A feeling that ‘kids are doing things only to irritate me so I have a right to discipline them.’...One may react rather than respond to situations.” He reiterated, "You have to intervene if you see any harm being done to anyone, especially children.” 

Community mental health

"We are encountering many psychological issues,” Anahita Desai, BPP trustee and chief executive officer of the World Alliance of Parsi Irani Zarthoshtis (WAPIZ) that supports the elderly, among other initiatives, told Parsiana on July 8. WAPIZ started the Helping Hands for Seniors Project one year ago. "In this one year the cases we have seen have shocked us… Apart from dementia and Alzheimer’s which are age related, we are encountering many younger persons suffering from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, persons with anger management issues and acute depression. Sadly, the treatment for most of these is institutionalization in a psychiatric facility. This is prohibitively expensive for most middle class persons. It costs approximately Rs 50,000 per month and the duration is likely to be for six to eight months at least. After that, monitoring the person and ensuring the patient takes his/her prescribed medicines without a break is a challenge, especially when the person is staying alone and without any support system. Most of the persons we have met are single, living alone or with a sibling and having financial constraints.” 

Desai bemoaned that as a community we have no psychiatric facility/ward at The B. D. Petit Parsee General Hospital. "Due to lack of funds and no support system most people avoid treatment till the problem becomes unmanageable.” 

Appreciative of the efforts of Masina Hospital in handling emotional and mental issues among Parsis, Chavda noted that "they do a lot of work with children… often almost pro bono for Parsis.” He feels strongly that community members must be sensitized to help each other. "Early identification is the key,” he stated.